Not all Doulas are the same, and that’s a good thing.
When I first heard of the Death Doula profession I was so excited to find something that fit who I am and what I had always known I was being called to do, but as I learned more my first impressions were that it felt too mystical to be a fit for me and my personality. I simply wanted to help people at end-of-life in a way that feels as though you have a close friend or neighbor stepping up to take some of the weight off everyone’s shoulders, so that’s what my services offer.
As you look at my areas of practice below, you may notice that there are some things missing that you’ve seen or heard that Doulas do such as reiki, guided imagery and meditations, providing spiritual support or leading rituals, facilitating grief circles…these are all wonderful things that many people want and need at the end-of-life, but they are not fundamentally a part of my approach.
My approach to end-of-life doula’ing can be described as knowledgable, compassionate support. I will step up when you need me, and I will be there to help you navigate this difficult, but critically important time. If a Doula with a different approach feels more aligned with your needs, then I am happy to help connect you with others who may be a good fit.
Scroll down to see my areas of practice
(Pricing available upon request)
My Areas of Practice
End-of-Life Planning
I can help establish Advanced Health Care Directives, including Living Wills and appointment of a Health Care Power of Attorney, ensuring that people understand their options and that their wishes regarding treatments or interventions that they want or do not want are clearly documented and in place for when they are needed.
I can also help facilitate conversations with family and loved ones around the a person’s wishes for the end, and help answer any questions or concerns that anyone has. Losing a loved one is a time of enormous stress and emotion, and having plans and decisions in place prevents additional strain. Plus, everyone has the right to make their own choices—we just need to make them while we are still able.
Vigil Planning
A Vigil Plan is a guide that outlines what kind of logistical, emotional and physical support someone would like to receive in their final days when their energy is waning and impacting their ability to communicate. It takes the guess work out about what is most important to a person at the end and helps guide their care in their final days. It’s a blueprint of the who/what/when/how for family, friends and caregivers.
Sitting Vigil
I can be on-site during the time of transition and the active dying process to ensure that you or your loved one is comfortable, to provide reassurance and relieve anxiety, pain and worry. I am trained to understand the signs and symptoms involved in the active dying process, and can provide information and education or can simply be present and help as needs arise.
Most people don’t usually learn this until they’re in the situation, but Hospice nurses spend approximately 1 hour per week with their patients who are considered stable and not yet in the process of actively dying. This means that the majority of patient care falls directly onto caregivers who are typically family and friends, and woefully unprepared (as well as dealing with their own feelings and emotions on top of trying to balance taking care of themselves and other family members while supporting their loved one who is dying. It’s A lot.) To bridge gaps in care, I can coordinate with hospice nurses and workers to provide critical information and patient updates that increase comfort and decrease stress, pain and confusion.
Respite Care
Respite care is a short-term break for primary caregivers. Caring for someone who is sick or at the end-of-life can be a 24-hour job, but unfortunately life outside continues to move forward and caregivers need a break from time to time to look after their own needs, and the needs of their family.
To help you, I can come stay with your loved one and make sure they’re comfortable and all is well so that you can step out without worrying. And let’s be clear, needing a break does not mean that you don’t wish you could be with your loved one 24/7, but it’s just not practical. Caregivers need space and time to run their own errands, or make sure someone’s uniform is ready for the game later, or go to a Yoga class, or take a nap…it’s no one’s business what you need to do, but I will be there to step in to make sure that you can do it. You’re only a phone call away.
Funeral Planning
When someone receives a terminal diagnosis, it can be overwhelming for everyone. There’s so much to think about, and figure out, and decide, and accept. Oftentimes the thought of planning one’s funeral can be unfathomable—but have you ever been to a funeral that had some pre-planning and forethought? The smallest of personal details and touches are so impactful, and they bring an extra feeling of connection to your loved one who has died that is powerful, and meaningful.
There are so many innovations and interesting ways to celebrate one’s life that are often overlooked amongst all the other emotions, responsibilities and quickly-moving details right after someone dies. I can educate you on the options, then help take care of the details, coordinate with the funeral directors and take that off of your plate.
I also offer obituary and eulogy writing support to capture your loved one’s essence and memorialize them in a way that you will be proud of, and people will remember.
Post-Death Organization
Going through the belongings of a friend or family member who has recently passed can be emotional and overwhelming. I can work with the family after the death, or directly with the person diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, on post-death home organization.
When someone is at the end-of-life they often worry about “being a burden” to their family. Taking care of this typically post-death activity and making decisions on what to give to loved ones, what to donate and what to dispose of can relieve some of that anxiety.